Photo: Stephen Mease

Two very different-aged women talk about body image and the physical changes that every woman experiences.

Body Image? Ha! My Real Body Rocks — and Rolls
by Cindy Hill

Mother Nature: The Ultimate "Frenemy"
by Courtney Triola

Mother Nature is the reason we lovely ladies are able to make a family. But her monthly gift to females can be one bumpy road to travel. And while boys may not have an exact equivalent to this bloody dynamo, they go through a lot of changes, and feel many of the same feelings. Welcome to puberty!

If you went to a school that allowed sex education, you may remember the day when your teacher divided the class by sex, and sent each group on its merry way to a room with a glowing television screen that taught you about the many changes your body would soon experience?

 

Body Image Problems Galore

Boston Children's Hospital reports that males now account for 10 percent of the eating disorder population. It says the number of reported eating disorders is growing among all races and classes, at younger and younger ages.

"Unfortunately, boys and men aren't immune from our media's influences and our society's pressure to have an unrealistic body shape and size," says Laura Edwards-Leeper, PhD of its Primary Care Center.

"There is also the misconception that boys are naturally more confident, have greater self-esteem and better body images, and therefore are at less of a risk of developing eating disorders. This may lead to less caution and sensitivity when discussing weight issues with boys, which may be problematic for many kids."

"The best approach for working with both boys and girls around all issues of weight—whether it be overweight or underweight—is to focus more on helping them improve self-esteem, confidence and body image," says Edwards-Leeper. She recommends family activities that encourage movement and fun. "As adults, if we're successful in making kids feel better about themselves, they're likely to be more motivated to incorporate long-term healthy changes into their lives."

 

 

“In the fifth grade, there was a grade-wide event aptly called “Puberty Night,” with the boys in one room, the girls in another. We watched our respective movies, and then left with a little book and a stick of deodorant,” recalls 21-year-old Connal.
Learning about puberty on a schedule, around age 11, can be too late for some. A number of girls see their bodies start to change as early as eight years old. Vivien, 19, said “I can remember learning about these changes vaguely in school, although many of these lessons were taught after the changes had already occurred.”

Girls often develop earlier than boys, and sometimes earlier than many of their friends. This can lead to feelings of insecurity as girls find themselves thinking they are “abnormal” or “ugly.”

Teresa, who is now 20, also entered into puberty at an early age, soon becoming concerned with how others would perceive her. “I was always self-conscious as to whether or not people would think my boobs were too big or too small. I was also nervous as to whether or not I should shave the hair in my private regions.” This kind of response is typical for many girls.

Despite a lack of openness on the topic, a number of boys feel many of the same pressures and emotions. A 24-year-old man, wishing to remain anonymous, felt embarrassed in his adolescence because he hit puberty later than his peers.

Since most everyone around me had started going through changes before I did, I became rather self-conscious of my appearance. I looked very young for my age, (I still do), which bothered me. When I would tell people my age I would always get shocked or flabbergasted remarks in return. ‘I'm 16, ma'am.’ In response, ‘Oh my gosh! No you're not. You look 11!’” Remarks like that only furthered insecurities, some of which still bother him today.

Sometimes children’s and teens’ reactions are based on personal fears, but they can also occur because of comments made by other kids. “Classmates speculated that I stuffed my bra, and made fun of me, or talked behind my back. Boys stared,” Maria, age 21, remembers.

We humans inherently concern ourselves with what others think of us, but sometimes these worries become overwhelming stressors rather than passing thoughts. When that happens, severe body issues can arise. “I was also overly obsessed with the idea of losing weight -- to the point where I flirted with developing an eating disorder,” Maria continued.

Maria advised, “Don't be afraid to talk to your mother, aunt, or an older sister. It's important to have a female adult role model in your life whom you can talk to, and you should take their advice and opinions into consideration because they've not only been where you are, but they've gotten past it, and now understand things you truly won't understand until you're older.” The same goes for boys.

So many teens look at themselves in the mirror, confused and insecure about the changes they are going through. These insecurities can cause body issues leading to anxiety and depression, which could resonate in young men and women for many years. Maybe it’s time to hit stop on the videos about puberty, and instead bring in real girls and guys who are a few years older, to tell the divided groups of boys and girls all the things they wanted to know at that time.

Maria’s final piece of advice to those facing puberty: “Everyone is going through the same thing, and everyone is insecure about something. At the end of the day, confidence in yourself is all that really matters.”

Whether a child or teen develops at an early or late age, he or she will likely feel a range of emotions. Much of this is enhanced by hormones, but it can also stem from a desire to relate to friends. Ryan, age 20, experienced a sense of envy, as many people do, when watching others go through changes they haven’t been through yet. “I was actually jealous of everyone else who had hair on their face.”

The upside? As teens grow older, they gain more knowledge from health classes, discussions with parents, and talking to their friends. They realize that what is happening to them is completely normal. It can, however, take some time to get there. “It was not until my first year away at college that I truly began to feel comfortable in my own skin. It is something that I am still working on, even today,” Vivien said.

It may be a slow process, but it can be furthered along by knowing that you’re not alone, that everyone develops differently, and, despite those differences, bodily changes are almost always normal. “I wish I had known that it is okay for all girls to not be the same size,” said Vivien about her puberty, “that not all girls in my junior high, for example, are able to fit into the same size 00 pair of jeans from Abercrombie and Fitch.”

Courtney Triola is co-founder and editor in chief of Champlain College's online zine, The Current Beat.