A Real Funny Broad

by Katy Spencer

Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli, a Connecticut-born broad with the penchant for insult comedy has starred in Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, Black Entertainment Television’s Comic View. She has gained numerous accolades as a “ballsy” female comedian. She was the first female headliner for the Montreal Comedy Festival in 2003 and was the only female comedian invited to roast Chevy Chase as part of the New York Friars Club. She has roasted the likes of Jeff Foxworthy and Pamela Anderson and regularly enjoys insulting and seeking to educate her audiences across the US.

On August 20th, Vermonters can see the Queen of Mean herself and risk the honor of being insulted by her sharp wit at the Higher Ground Showcase in South Burlington– click here for ticket information: http://www.highergroundmusic.com/. Here’s a sneak peek.

Vermont Woman

You seem to have embraced the “Queen of Mean” label - How’d you find your niche in insult comedy?

Lisa Lampanelli

Early on, the only stuff that made me laugh when I went back over my routines were the jokes of when I was f@#$%^g with the crowd. They didn’t get offended; they recognized that it was out of love and appreciation. I really liked that people got what I was doing.

I have an Archie Bunker edge but my routine is meant to bring everyone together. I have a 100% love of everybody; I wouldn’t be able to insult them without that. I have crafted personae who will say anything to anyone at anytime. It's not a "character" like a Larry the Cable Guy. It's just that I bring to the performance on any given night the part of my personality that is lovable, likeable, and quick-witted so that I can get away with the material I present.

Vermont Woman

Is there a line you won’t cross when insulting an audience? Is there a taboo topic for you?

Lisa Lampanelli

You know what, other comics are just pussies. I may have had to draw a line two years ago when I was working my way up. I may not have said the “N” word two years ago. I insult and do my own thing with love, I have no misguided hate. But the thing is, you have to have experience in order to throw around words like I do. Words are powerful but can be stripped of meaning.

I don’t really want to hurt anyone’s feelings, as queer as that is. For example, I’ve found that fat women get their feelings hurt easier but if I see a fat woman who is embracing her weight and is comfortable with a joke then I would call her a “fat *itch.” Same with Black people, a lot of black people embrace blackness. They can handle a little insult. If a fat chick isn’t comfortable then I leave her alone. I recently did a show and I spotted a cripple in the audience, I asked his friends ahead of time if he could handle a joke, if he was cool. Don Rickles had a line that he wouldn’t cross, he wouldn’t make fun of birth defected children, but how often are they in the audience?

Vermont Woman

Your comedy routine delves into race relations; do you ever offend people during your shows? Do you ever have someone in the audience, who is just sitting there?

Lisa Lampanelli

I’m a one liner comic. My jokes hammer you in the head and don’t let you think about how you should be reacting. I almost wish I could create a little more controversy. Come on you people of Vermont, Protest me! If 50 Cent can get shot, I can too!

I have a small percentage of walkouts during my shows, which is nice. I don’t think there is any other female comic that men go to see. Usually women drag their husbands to see female comics and it’s all about shopping or PMS. As long as flat out Klansmen aren’t coming to my shows, then I’m happy.

Vermont Woman

I recently watched your short film, Hummers for Heroes. Is Hillary Rodham Clinton, a friend or foe to the American Public?

Lisa Lampanelli

No Idea. I don’t really read the papers or follow politics. I’m angry about Tom Cruise. I wish he would just say he’s gay already. All I care about is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, when you date a skinny chick with no breasts, it’s one more step to butt plugs.

This year was the first year I voted. I chose to vote because I cared about Free Speech and the FCC. I want to get them off our backs. You know the whole Howard Stern thing. [Clear Channel, the company that broadcasts Howard Stern’s show was fined by the FCC for $495,000 for indecent comments made by Stern about President Bush and Colin Powell’s son being FCC Chairman. Clear Channel then removed Stern show from its six radio stations.]

Vermont Woman

Let’s talk about Howard Stern, What’s he like?

Lisa Lampanelli

He’s one of my heroes. He is totally himself, nothing to hide, no bravado like some radio show hosts have. He’s real.

Vermont Woman

If you could appoint anyone to the Supreme Court who would it be and why?

Lisa Lampanelli

If I could put anyone in office I would go for a double ticket of Larry the Cable Guy as President and Howard Stern as Vice President. If people hate one and assassinate him, it works out because the vice president is just as real.

Vermont Woman

Growing up in New Hampshire, I love Blue Collar Comedy Tour. You’ve roasted Jeff Foxworthy and have worked with Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White and Bill Engvall. I love Larry the Cable Guy

Lisa Lampanelli

He’s just a dopey guy, an everyman. He has a real connection to the audience. This man can fill up a venue full of people. Steve Martin once said that the smartest comics say the stupidest things. Larry, the Cable Guy has this character and persona that people can relate to on the surface as well as in depth.

Vermont Woman

I’m sure you’ve heard of the recent attacks on London. How would you eradicate the escalating racial tension in the U.K.?

Lisa Lampanelli

Like I said I don’t watch the news but they have been comparing these attacks to September 11th. Fifty-six deaths don’t equal 3,000+ deaths. I was hoping the terrorists were aiming for France.

In regard to the racial tension, I think it’s an overreaction. They are beating up on the Hispanic guy thinking he’s the Indian guy. After September 11th, people were beating up their cab drivers. I think when a tragic event happens, people look for someone to blame. Look at the Tsunami - there was no one to blame for that.

Vermont Woman

All seriousness aside, Have you ever received one of those forwards that details the ten things every woman should have? Like a black lacy bra, a tool kit, etc.? What ten things do you think every woman should have?

Lisa Lampanelli

A Black Boyfriend for a week -- that's enough time for good sex but not enough time to f&*k up her credit
Every woman, even if she’s married should have her own apartment to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
A copy of Rhonda Britten’s Fearless Living
One good purse, I’m talking a $500 to $5000 purse, so that she can realize how much she likes her crappy purses and how arbitrary spending a lot of money really is.

Four things are enough.

Vermont Woman

You’ve had a busy summer, what’s next for the “Queen of Mean?”

Lisa Lampanelli

I’m working with Larry the Cable Guy. He just got a three movie deal. I was written into the script as his girlfriend’s mother, I get to wear a fat suit. It’s going to be great.

I also recently signed with William Morris out here on the west coast and I’m in negotiations for a sitcom. It will pretty much be my life: a woman in an interracial relationship with a black man, dealing with her Italian American parents and her gay friend.

I will also be Roasting Pamela Anderson in a couple weeks. She is so cool and funny. She is another person who creates a character, personae but is a really smart chick. She uses what she has. There will be no tit jokes, no whore jokes. She does charity work. You got to respect that.

Vermont Woman

Anything else you may want Vermonters to know about you?

Lisa Lampanelli

My CD and DVD will be on sale from Warner Bros. Records on August 30th. On September 10th, I will have my own special on Comedy Central. My old CD’s will be on sale at Higher Ground and this will be the last chance to get a copy.