VTWMN/ Trumpsters are being suckered?
We know it, and we don’t care.
VTWMN/ Patriot?
Oh my God, yes! I just love the flag. And I get all teary when I hear the national anthem.
VTWMN/ Reckless vote?
I wanted to shake things up, so I voted for Trump. Also, I love reality TV, and Trump is entertaining by the hour!
VTWMN/ Compassionate?
Of course, I am. Dumb question. But I got mine, Jack, and I shut the door behind me. Tight. Real tight. If that's not compassion, then I don't know what is.
VTWMN/ Taxes?
As long as I don’t have to pay any.
VTWMN/ The new tax bill?
I don’t really know anything about it, so it’s good. All I care about is low taxes and jobs. The debt doesn’t bother me ’cause I’ll be dead by its due date.
VTWMN/ Guns?
More and more for everyone, especially for the militias.
VTWMN/ Weekly mass shootings?
Shootings aren’t about guns. Guns don’t kill people—the shooter is the killer! I pray and feel for the victims’ families.
VTWMN/ Nationalism?
Yup, I’m for the nation, of course. Another dumb question.
VTWMN/ Racist, bigot, homophobe, anti-Semite?
Nope, not me. But you know, blacks and Jews need to know their place, and queers should just shut up.
VTWMN/ Women?
Gotta love ’em. But only if they’re young, pretty, always hot to trot, and not too uppity and, oh yeah, will bear as many children as possible and always take care of them even if they’re sick and poor. Shut up and show up, that’s what I say.
VTWMN/ Immigrants?
Who do these people think they are? We don’t want dirty dumb immigrants. Whose idea was that?
VTWMN/ Welfare?
Absolutely not. That’s socialism. Take responsibility, that’s what I say.
VTWMN/ Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security?
Get rid of them all. Like I said, take responsibility.
VTWMN/ Pro-Choice?
Are you kidding?! Never. I don’t believe in murdering little babies. And also women are too dumb to make any choices, especially about their own bodies. And P.S., we have to keep a big workforce and supply our armies. Right? Well. Then.
States’ rights?
Yup, I’m for states’ rights all right, especially when it comes to stuff like abortion and gay marriage—which I’m totally against, of course! But legalizing marijuana or providing sanctuary for immigrants? Nope, no way, not a state thing.
VTWMN/ Voters’ rights?
You got me there. States should make voting as has hard as possible for certain groups—if you know what I mean. Did I say I am thrilled that the Supreme Court got rid of the Voting Rights Act? |
